Trying so hard to keep my feelings from people.
I know, when i can't anymore i will just break down.
I want to show everyone that i'm happy. I want to lie to everyone, even myself, that i'm happy. That i'm not affected at all.
But deep inside me, i don't feel anything. No happiness. Nothing. Cept the hurt.

Why does it hurt so much. It hurts even more than 171008. Is it cause we were too close?
Everything i see, i have, all relates back to you. Whenever i on my phone, i saw pictures of us. Even the bag, keychain & everything we have in common.
Everything i do, seems so empty. Cause we always do things together.

I know i didn't care about how you feel and i'll probably do the same if i were you. I was wrong. I'm sorry. But is this really completely my fault? I don't know.
But all this doesn't matter anymore. Cause you didn't want to be friends ever.
No matter how much we quarrel, i know that someday we will be okay again.
But after seeing what you posted i guess it won't happen again.

Everything that we do, memories we had. All were gone & forgotten.
I don't know how to forget. Someone tell me, HOW.
Perhaps partly is cause i don't want to. Too much memories to erase. And no matter how hard i try, something will relate back to you again.

I don't want to care. But i can't.
When i saw what you posted, i acted like i didn't care. Act like i hated you too.
Continued like nothing had happened at all.

Lots of thoughts in my head. I can't get it out. Trying so hard to not think about it. But this weird feeling of something stuck in my throat & chest just can't go away. Fears of seeing more hurting stuff. Seeing memories of us that you slowly remove. Its all killing me inside.

I bet you'll be so happy to know that you hurt me deeply. And that, i asked for it.
First -, now you. Who's next? (:

Maybe the reason to all this is cause i suck. I suck as a friend.

Bestfriends Forever. Is it really true? Does it really exists?
Or are they just some words put together that were lies.
Lies that tricked everyone that it exists.